
We are in the middle of school holidays in Wiltshire and therefore the only projects I am tackling this week are those involving family - days out, gardening, baking and having a sort out of all our ’stuff’……. which I love. I feel energised and free when the clutter which tends to build up over a few busy weeks is organised and put away or has made its way out of the house to a new home.
One of the most rewarding jobs I took on last year was assisting an elderly client who was preparing to move house after many years in the same village. The lady had a lifetime of possessions which simply wouldn’t fit into her new home and needed some radical decluttering.Major events like selling up and downsizing are common triggers of the need to declutter. Interior designers offer a decluttering service as part of their ‘home staging’ packages, prior to putting houses on the market. It has even made an appearance as one of the plethora of programmes available on moving or improving your house. (Remember ‘The Life Laundry’ where an entire house is removed by an army of declutterers to a couple of gazebos and sorted through in a couple of days?) My experience is that decluttering is rarely a straightforward process and one that requires planning, drive, time and sensitive handling. I can honestly say that my years spent as a volunteer counsellor has helped my clients far more than my professional property expertise in decluttering projects.
I have never had too much trouble with weeding out excess baggage and finding new homes for items I no longer want or need - except perhaps that I have too many books. However I am the wife and daughter of hoarders of the first order. When my father died we had to sort through a shed full of rusty nails and washers which he had saved in case they came in useful. I now have three children and we all know children and clutter go hand in hand. Hence I have had to learn to deal sensitively with other people’s clutter and find coping strategies for living in an environment which on occasions is less than ideal.
Having too many possessions for the space you live in is stressful, particularly if you are coping with life-changing situations at the same time like moving house, getting married, having children, divorce, bereavement or having your parents move in with you. Successfully getting rid of the excess can be hugely beneficial but the process is often difficult and most people need support. Family and friends may step up to help - or you may need professional assistance. Whoever you choose, make sure that they understand your needs and have time to spend. My eldest son loves to surround himself with “stuff” and only weeds it out reluctantly when prompted. It would be very easy to get a bag and throw it all in. It would even be fairly straightforward to gather a few boxes and sort rubbish, recycling, charity shop donations, gifts to friends, car boot and ebay items for him. But I would never do this. I have to wait for him to be ready to sort and support him through the decisions he makes about what to keep and where everything else is to go. Gradually he is learning about the true worth of his possessions and he gets pleasure from passing things on to friends or selling unwanted items to earn enough money for something he really wants. The same is true for every client I have assisted.
One of the best books I have come across on this subject is “No More Clutter” by Sue Kay. I would recommend this as as starting point to anyone who is sinking under a pile of possessions. She has a real understanding of the reasons behind hoarding and excellent suggestions about how to tackle it. Once you understand what kind of hoarder you are and are ready to tackle things head on, you can plan your strategy.
As for me, I have worked hard on the book situation and now I always have a small stash of books in the boot of the car. Whoever I call on gets to choose a book from the box. Any cash donations I get go to the charity I’m supporting for the year. It works a treat!
Do keep posting comments or questions on the blog. Remember there’s a prize up for grabs for posting this month.
Cally